Sisters and Brothers in Christ

In his book, Zen Spirit, Christian Spirit, Robert E. Kennedy quotes the following anonymous poem:

"My name is I am." He paused I waited. He continued, "When you live in the past, with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not I was.

When you live in the future, with its problems and fears, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not I will be.

When you live in this moment, it is not hard. I am here. My name is I am."

March 8 is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. Lent brings talk about disciplines, rules, and fasts. Why? The truth of all spiritual work and discipline is to help us to make our journey to this moment where God lives and where God can empower us to live lives marked by the joy of wholeness.

What is the journey to this moment like? Sometimes treacherous calling upon me to face those hard moments of past regrets and hurts that I have caused or have been done to me - moments of bravely facing into the winds of pain and struggling through being born all over again.

What is the journey to this moment like? Sometimes boring and tedious with my ego crying out like a spoiled brat wanting to turn back because it is ultimately a journey of sacrifice. "I" have to give up desires that pull me into unreal fantasies of the future or daydreams calling me back to past glories or ugly regrets. I have to sacrifice myself.

I'm going to be honest with you. The journey of Lent is a journey towards death. Jesus heads to Jerusalem to die there and Thomas sighs our response, "Let us go too, and die with him."

Now here's the big surprise - this dying is not hard, it is easy. Oh sure, the ego kicks and screams and fights but in the midst of dying is born the Life of this moment of I Am.

I can remember being on a spiritual retreat with an order of Mevlevi Sufis. The sheik gave us a simple technique to help us die before we die. It is a breathing prayer that is profound in its simplicity. He said, "As you inhale say (to yourself and not aloud) "I" and as you exhale, "Am."

Some people give up chocolate, some give up beer, but what do I have to give up and what do you have to give up to journey to the moment of now? The answer to that question is your Lenten discipline and the answer to that question is found in the silent moments of breathing "I" and "Am."

Dying to the future and burying the past you and I will rise in this glorious moment in the embrace of the One whose name is "I Am."

Joel t