Touched by Love and Loss

As a parish family, we have been through two stunning losses. First was the sudden illness and death of Tim Vernon. We had only begun to cope with that pain when news of Noah Woodley-Aitchison’s death came. Many of you remember Noah as a young child when his mother Claire was the Interim Rector at St. Mary’s in the mid-90’s.

This one-two punch of loss initially leaves us in a stunned state.  From there, we all grieve in our own unique ways.

I can remember on standing in Tim’s room at Phelps Memorial Hospital on December 28th. The presence of death was palpable. I looked out the window and saw, on the construction site below, men and women working. On the walkways to and from the hospital I saw people walking, talking, and laughing. Life was going on unaware of the horrible drama that was unfolding in that room.

In the midst of that sorrow, it was easy to think that we who live on have the harder part. We must go on, carried on by life, without those we love.

Yet is it the harder part? No doubt it hurts for life to carry us beyond the physical presence of those we love that have died. Then I thought about the many ways Tim had touched me as we worked together and had fun together. I realized how much richer my life is because Tim was a part of it. That part would always be with me. That part enriches my life still. It is an enduring gift of Love.

Tim and Noah were two very unique human beings. They had the ability to light up whatever room they entered. Intuitively they knew how to brighten the darkest hearts and bring smiles and joy to sad faces. In deep ways they touched nearly everyone with whom they came in contact with unrequited love. Such a bequest endures beyond death, and as life goes on it is blessed by that gift over and over again.

Yes, life, in spite of our losses, goes on. This past weekend, my son Ian came home to celebrate his 23rd birthday with us on Saturday. As he was preparing to leave on Sunday morning, we hugged in my office. We usually hug each other when he heads off, back to school but I noticed that this embrace was longer, and somehow a deeper, richer feeling of love flowed back and forth between us.

I recognized that somehow, again, a gift had been bestowed upon me.

Joel t